piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
