Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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