Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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