why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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