mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
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