i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
