it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
