I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
