Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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