every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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