i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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