Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
