Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize