office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
