Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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