I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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