i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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