How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Randomize
