I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
