Where did you get a picture of my penis
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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