Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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