just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
