so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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