Define "chronic" masturbator.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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