So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
we're so committed to being not committed
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