doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
