Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
