I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
