Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (650): I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs. http://tfl.nu/bo8w
  Replies (7) Good night (1786) Bad night (627)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion. http://tfl.nu/50jg
  Replies (86) Good night (3403) Bad night (723)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird". http://tfl.nu/qpoq
  Replies (70) Good night (1654) Bad night (4419)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (858): dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread. http://tfl.nu/pzp6
  Replies (22) Good night (5931) Bad night (947)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex.. http://tfl.nu/g01t
  Replies (17) Good night (5137) Bad night (704)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled http://tfl.nu/gplx
  Replies (20) Good night (1064) Bad night (4371)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down. http://tfl.nu/yekc
  Replies (15) Good night (1587) Bad night (2344)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white http://tfl.nu/k2oa
  Replies (10) Good night (669) Bad night (2077)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off." http://tfl.nu/975o
  Replies (8) Good night (1606) Bad night (491)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (916): That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe. http://tfl.nu/yz4h
  Replies (4) Good night (563) Bad night (1471)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we? http://tfl.nu/5put
  Replies (2) Good night (1005) Bad night (459)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car. http://tfl.nu/zey7
  Replies (11) Good night (486) Bad night (1239)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D http://tfl.nu/eelv
  Replies (2) Good night (677) Bad night (359)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING" http://tfl.nu/92g2
  Replies (1) Good night (639) Bad night (266)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (972): If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it. http://tfl.nu/j3kl
  Replies (0) Good night (431) Bad night (166)

Randomize