Texts From Last Night

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  (914): View more from New York

  After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!

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  (914): After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT! http://tfl.nu/umoe
  Replies (129) Good night (6439) Bad night (788)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits

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  (843): fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits http://tfl.nu/ms1d
  Replies (16) Good night (7234) Bad night (897)
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  (516): View more from New York

  i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes

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  (516): i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes http://tfl.nu/j5p1
  Replies (24) Good night (939) Bad night (5752)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...

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  (313): is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad... http://tfl.nu/md38
  Replies (26) Good night (687) Bad night (4368)
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  (805): View more from California

  I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends

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  (805): I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends http://tfl.nu/9344
  Replies (35) Good night (1629) Bad night (4741)
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  (518): View more from New York

  i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with

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  (518): i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you. (202): and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with http://tfl.nu/tq5v
  Replies (10) Good night (1683) Bad night (3539)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.

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  (702): And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now. http://tfl.nu/so7u
  Replies (7) Good night (925) Bad night (3431)
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  (661): View more from California

  I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it

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  (661): I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it http://tfl.nu/7h1l
  Replies (4) Good night (1203) Bad night (1869)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy

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  (217): I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy http://tfl.nu/0wt3
  Replies (5) Good night (1677) Bad night (677)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.

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  (219): The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair. http://tfl.nu/a313
  Replies (2) Good night (949) Bad night (1719)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.

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  (405): Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable. http://tfl.nu/luso
  Replies (16) Good night (1197) Bad night (2343)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol

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  (321): Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol http://tfl.nu/hpqb
  Replies (11) Good night (648) Bad night (1429)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.

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  (304): He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke. http://tfl.nu/5p7e
  Replies (1) Good night (432) Bad night (342)
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  (+63): View more from

  I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that

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  (+63): I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that http://tfl.nu/j4zk
  Replies (1) Good night (637) Bad night (264)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.

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  (928): Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America. http://tfl.nu/eqv7
  Replies (2) Good night (488) Bad night (236)

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