Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together