it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants