Texts From Last Night

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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today

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  (508): well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today http://tfl.nu/xvys
  Replies (0) Good night (731) Bad night (1950)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.

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  (801): how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up. http://tfl.nu/xh0f
  Replies (18) Good night (984) Bad night (2618)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.

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  (604): i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later. http://tfl.nu/i15d
  Replies (41) Good night (963) Bad night (7044)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.

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  (832): Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are. http://tfl.nu/ir1i
  Replies (15) Good night (3820) Bad night (1265)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight

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  (210): Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight http://tfl.nu/kopz
  Replies (14) Good night (1281) Bad night (4285)
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  (631): View more from New York

  ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night

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  (631): ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night http://tfl.nu/n1l5
  Replies (9) Good night (5059) Bad night (904)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I think this baby is eyeing my beer

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  (480): I think this baby is eyeing my beer http://tfl.nu/6ms6
  Replies (13) Good night (5108) Bad night (1260)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.

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  (631): Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate. http://tfl.nu/qonz
  Replies (5) Good night (1264) Bad night (2753)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3

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  (484): drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3 http://tfl.nu/7aa9
  Replies (5) Good night (3669) Bad night (822)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.

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  (902): hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help. http://tfl.nu/mkef
  Replies (5) Good night (1546) Bad night (3223)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.

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  (606): Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick. http://tfl.nu/0x12
  Replies (8) Good night (706) Bad night (2233)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams

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  (774): This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams http://tfl.nu/o9iv
  Replies (5) Good night (1294) Bad night (802)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...

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  (443): I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket... http://tfl.nu/7x9r
  Replies (4) Good night (1416) Bad night (654)
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  (760): View more from California

  I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.

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  (760): I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays. http://tfl.nu/jyu4
  Replies (4) Good night (745) Bad night (387)
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  (+31): View more from The Netherlands

  Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.

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  (+31): Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date. http://tfl.nu/xxz9
  Replies (6) Good night (428) Bad night (940)

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