sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
