Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(916): View more from California

I hate ducks.

(916): View more from California

What?

(916): View more from California

they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.

Fav 55 3856 1166
share tweet
(401): View more from Rhode Island

he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.

Fav 36 1247 5265
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(416): View more from Ontario

So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.

Fav 91 2350 10182
share tweet
(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.

Fav 31 1436 4992
share tweet
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(904): View more from Florida

we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways

Fav 6 4483 1452
share tweet
(401): View more from Rhode Island

Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE

Fav 4 3729 1161
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(937): View more from Ohio

Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.

Fav 29 1556 6859
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(978): View more from Massachusetts

If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.

(508): View more from Massachusetts

And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.

Fav 5 764 534
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(512): View more from Texas

this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt

Fav 4 127 173
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT