guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
