Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Randomize
