she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
