Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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