True but thats because hes a fetus.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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