..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
