I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize