What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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