i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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