So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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