I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
