dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
