there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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