my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
