Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
