he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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