You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
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