Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
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I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
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she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
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