Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize