question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
two words: eviction party
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.