TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma