I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
