Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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