i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
fuck your aforementioned shoe
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
