They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
