There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
