Dual....:-)
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
