I'm going to jail i love you
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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